was
passiert
mit
einem
Gefühl,
wenn
man
es
vergisst
?

weil C.

"ich glaube ich war einfach verliebt und vollkommen überfordert mit der Situation"

guesswho

- normally not me, but currently me -

1. Sometimes I cannot find an explanation for why I feel the way I do.

There are times when my anxiety and depression act up and I don’t know why. I understand there is usually a trigger, but sometimes even I don’t know what it is. Unfortunately, my mental illness doesn’t come with an informational pamphlet about what triggers it.

[...]

3. Whenever I seem to want the most space is usually when I need the most support.

When I start to go into a depressive episode or my anxiety is particularly high, I try to isolate myself. I hide in my room or spend an immense amount of time outside of the house to try to stay away from people. When I’ve locked myself in my room it means more to me than you could ever know when you just come lay next to me with no need for explanation or words of any kind.

[...]
 

6. I still care about you, probably more than I care about myself.

No matter how bad I feel, I still want what’s best for you. When I genuinely start to avoid you, for weeks or even months at a time, it’s not because you’ve done something wrong; I just feel like you are better off without me. I begin to think your life will be happier without me in it and that my mental illness is dragging you down. Even if being around you makes me happy and forget about my illness for a minute (which can be the most helpful thing in the world), I will try to sacrifice that if I feel like I am an inconvenience to you in any way. In times like these I just need reassurance that you don’t feel like I am a nuisance. And I might not believe you right away, but it will help to bring me out of that downward spiral, and it makes me remember you care about me too. 

7. There are days when I feel completely numb to my emotions.

If I look like I am walking around like an emotionless zombie, that’s probably how I feel. Sometimes all of my emotions seem distant to me; I know what I should be feeling, but I can’t quite grasp the feeling itself. And sometimes I will feel like this and you will never know; since I know what I should be feeling, I’ve learned to act as though I am feeling this emotion.

8. There are days when I feel too many emotions all at once.

Opposite to not feeling anything, sometimes I feel entirely too much. This can manifest in many ways; I may feel sad, excited, angry, hopeful, desperate, love and hate all at once. So if I seem like I am jumping from one emotion to the next extremely quickly it’s because I am trying to hold on to one emotion at a time, but I can’t hole one long before it jumps to another.

[...]
 fromhere

“I care too much, I trust too much,
I think too much, I love too much,
everything about me is just too much.
But even so I wouldn’t want to change
that about me. Just holding onto the hope
that one day my “too much” will be
everything someone could ever want.”